The Joy of Sekts

Disclaimer: Sekts is the short German name for Qualitatsschaumweins or sparkling wines. The author in no way intends this term to be misconstrued by readers with over-active imaginations.

Even in this enlightened day and age, the topic of sekts carries with it a great deal of mystery, confusion and even taboo. Many still feel uncomfortable talking about the subject frankly and openly. However, it is only through such discussion that some of the misconceptions, assumptions and even embarrassment surrounding sekts will be clarified and reduced, and true enjoyment realized.

A SMALL HISTORY
It is difficult to ascertain when sekts was first enjoyed. Historical documents reveal that it has been around for at least a thousand years. However, there can be no doubt that the type enjoyed by ancient races was not nearly as refined as what we love today.

The French, naturally asserting expertise on the subject, claim to have practically invented sekts. In fact, French sektsperts argue that it was a blind monk, of all people, named Dom Perignon who "discovered" it quite by accident while experimenting back in the 17th century. That the frisky Dom stumbled across something magical goes without saying. Whether or not it was true sekts, as we know it today, remains the question.

The Spanish also experimented at an early age. Jose Raventos, the "Don Juan" of sekts, created a Spanish variation in 1872, apparently having heard rumors of Dom Perignon's cork popping episodes. As a cultural footnote it is interesting to observe the absence of women in the creation of the world's first sekts. However, as history shows, men typically enjoy sekts when women are present.

And while the French and Spanish both have high-quality sekts, Germany has the most of it. In fact, Germany is responsible for twice as much sekts as France. Who would have thought?

ENJOYING SEKTS
There is no doubt that many of you have already tried sekts – perhaps many times. For those of you who haven't, you should realize that it can be something of an acquired taste. Like many of life's more gratifying indulgences, enjoying sekts to the fullest may involve patience and practice. Not everyone takes to it immediately and a bad experience at the beginning could have dire consequences later in life. Have an open mind and remind yourself that you may have to try it two, perhaps even three times before deciding whether or not it is right for you.

Timing is an important consideration. Traditionally, people often abstain from sekts until their wedding night or other times of celebration. While this may be acceptable when really great sekts is in order, the amount of good quality cheap sekts available means you can indulge regularly.

Truth is, you can enjoy sekts almost anytime you're in the mood. While many have discovered the joy of having it before dinner, more adventurous souls have found that indulging in it throughout the course of a meal can add interesting new dimensions. A little sekts first think in the morning can also be extremely luxurious and satisfying. A word of warning: you can have too much of a good thing. Overindulging can result in pain. Especially the morning after.

While sekts can indeed be magical between two people you can, in fact, enjoy it all on your own. Other times it is best shared with others. "Group sekts," as this activity is often called, allows people to compare different types in a frank, open and adult manner. This is one of the best ways to introduce novices to the infinite variety available.

AGE, FAMILY AND SEKTS
When young, sekts can be exuberant, even giddy. With age, it takes on a more serious and mature nature. The best can last for many, many years. But like all things, it won't last forever and will eventually lose its fizz. Once you find your preferred style, it's best to enjoy it to its fullest before it becomes flaccid and lifeless. While your introduction to sekts may be secretive and behind closed doors, your passion will inevitably develop to the point where you will no doubt become more demonstrative. You will want to spread your knowledge among others. Indeed, it will probably become an important part of your family life.

As we know, children and teenagers are very curious indeed. There will come a time when you will have to talk about sekts with your young ones. For instance, your son Bobby may come home from a friend's house and say, "Mommy, Daddy, I saw Jimmy's parents having sekts…in the kitchen!"

How you choose to respond can affect your children's attitude as they mature. Explain to them that sekts is a wonderful thing that adults enjoy, but something that young people must be very cautious around. There are a number of good books that can introduce and explore the subject if you find doing so yourself is uncomfortable.

Sekts is natural indulgence, and a very civilized one at that. It can be enjoyed by all mature adults alone, in groups or with a special someone. By experimenting with a variety of styles, in a variety of situations, you will discover what is right for you; the sekts that really pops your cork.

By Dr. T. Stewart, certified sekts counsellor

Comments

Anonymous said…
That is brilliant! You are too clever. I, too, have indulged in the joy of sexts -- both solitary and with company. Generally it's better when shared, though. The more the merrier!
Anonymous said…
loved it!
Anonymous said…
you two are just killing me. maybe careers as writers when you retire...certainly no childrens books though. charlie

Popular posts from this blog

Summer Palace

The trouble with winter is…

"The Party"