Haloranch

Teddy asked the following: "I read your blog account of your second session out and it points out my total ignorance! I didn't know they had pedals in kayaks! And why do you move the rudder up and down rather than side to side?" There's a rudder at the pointy end of the stern. It's usually flat against the kayak. When you are motoring along (LOL) you can put this rudder down and it helps you to steer left and right (so it does go side to side). You pull it up when you approach the rocky landings of the broken islands... and you pull it up PDQ so it doesn't scrape on the rocks and break off. I don't see why we need it as I'm hoping to be paddling in a straight line to the next island. Should this not be the case, well then, I'm probably screwed but I am able to turn the kayak with the paddles, sort of like in a canoe. A tippy canoe. "I guess I didn't realize we'd be wearing PFD's either...hadn't really thought about it! Bu...

We did it again. This time we laughed and laughed without peeing our pants since we're experienced kayakers now. And to prove it, we showed each other our spectacular black and blue thighs. They are like matching honour badges and quite sizeable ones at that. Easily the size of my spread hand. I proudly showed them off at work, puckering cellulite be damned! Getting in and out was no easier this time. In fact, we had other things to contend with. Lynda outfitted us each with a PFD (Personal Flotation Device)and kayak skirt. The two PFDs were different and I grabbed one at random. The wrong one. It belongs to her flat-chested husband and I felt the difference immediately. He's a muscular fellow but apparently my chest is bigger. Odd. When I first tried on the vest the panels wouldn't even bend around the front but stuck out straight under my armpits. I unbuckled the bottom straps which allowed the zipper to meet in the front under my breasts. Not a hope in hel...

This past weekend 4 of us were discussing the logistics of our upcoming kayak trip. Specifically, how on earth will we get enough wine from Red Deer to the lodge where we start our trip? There are six of us you know, and we are gone for a week. It merited serious discussion. Teddy and I decided we’d pick some up in Comox on Saturday since Sunday, anywhere in B.C. and definitely in small towns, all liquor stores will be closed. And we don’t really want to board the airplane with multiple boxes of wine slung under our arms. Then yesterday on our way to the lake to test the kayaks, we re-visited this important issue. Lynda mentioned that she would be driving her truck to B.C. at the end of June. Perfect! I’m the designated purchaser and will deliver the beverages to her, she’ll get them there, and apparently our belongings will be craned off the ferry so weight isn’t an issue and it looks like we’re in good shape at the other end too. Everything’s falling neatly into place.

I had my first kayaking experience yesterday evening and before I go any further, let me just say this: we laughed until we peed our pants. Some of it’s my fault. You have to straddle the kayak and make sure you’re properly lined up so that when you do the “outhouse squat” (sit down and stand up without using your hands) your bottom ends up in the teensy kayak hole where it should. This reminded me of the toilets in South Korea – the straddle part. In Korea your butt doesn’t actually touch anything. At least it shouldn’t. I had trouble there too. So I’m poised over the kayak, breasts and arms-holding-oars counterbalancing butt, and try to gracefully sink into the kayak. Hah. At a certain point I ran out of leg and so, with a plop, my butt dropped into the kayak and simultaneously my feet left the lakebed floor. “Don’t move! Leave your legs out and dangling! Get your balance!” Lynda said. The kayak rocked violently beneath me. When it stabilized a bit, I was told to inser...

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip... joy. With the second... satisfaction. With the third, peace. With the fourth, a danish. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story. Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or a life without problems. What would you talk about? The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single oy. There is no escaping karma In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be...

This morning at 5:42 Hans wakes me up. He's in the shower, toothbrush in hand and mouth full of toothpaste. "Theum a moose ih thuh crrrk!" "What"? I reply, tongue thick with sleep. "A moose. In the creek". I momentarily weigh the possibility of rolling over and going back to sleep. But then, I haven't seen a moose up close in years. And never in our creek. Besides, it's my day off and I can go back to bed. So I grab my glasses and head for the window, rubbing crusty sleep from my eyes. I still can't focus but now I'm desperate to see the moose. It has wandered behind some bushes and is temporarily out of sight. But I watch as the creek ripples in its wake and then I see it, wading down the middle up to its neck in water. The creek is much deeper than I thought, as I watched only its head navigate the water. It lumbered out near our ridge, tall and leggy as moose are. It's only a yearling, not a full grown cow, but it is i...